Acts 20:35 "It is more blessed to give than to receive"

Dear Ja,
I went to a Relief Society activity tonight. It started at 7pm and felt like it was too late to be packing up and taking kids out of the house to start something new instead of winding down for the night.  There is school tomorrow. . .again.  I had to force myself to go since the kids were tired and the 2 youngest were breaking down.  At the church we packed up Christmas care packages to send to the service men and women.  Of course you laid heavy on my mind thinking about the Christmas season next year without you.
I am not pleased to say my thoughts burdened me tonight to the extent of not being soft towards others.  As I wrote heart felt letters to put into the boxes, naturally other women were laughing and enjoying themselves while I felt more solemn inside; like it was supposed to be some sobering moment to remember those in the middle east that won't be with their families for the holiday. (All in my mind). 
As we were dishing up refreshments, a brother took something on a plate stating it was for his wife who, 'oh woe is her' had to put the kids to bed all by herself tonight.  I think I (regretfully) made a snorting noise at it while shaking my head. 
It was an ornament exchange game tonight too.  It's all I can do to keep up with everything all by myself much less go out and buy an ornament for tonight so I looked at my tree to see which one I could spare.  Since all of the ornatments were a grandma annual gift, I picked the only one I ever bought for myself.  I bought it just last year from the Christian bookstore.  It has Santa kneeling down at the baby Jesus.  I remember vividly looking at a figurine of that as a child and it made a big impact on me so I wanted to be sure the only picture of Santa in my home was portraying him as that.  I felt bitter and cross to give that away and bring home a red plastic ball.  I felt like a poor pitiful me doing it.  I shouldn't have felt that way. . .not in the least.  . .The mere fact that I'm doing and having all these things to do and have just shows how much I have to be thankful for!

Let's turn the situation around to what it should have been: 

I went to a Relief Society activity tonight.  I'm grateful for leaders who take time and effort to plan and schedule these things for us to do.  They have families, jobs and busy lives too.  I packed up the kids to take them which I was glad that they offered babysitting.  Those youth doing it had to get up early the next morning for seminary. . .wow, bless them!  I grabbed the only ornament on the tree that wasn't part of my family's annual tradition.  I enjoyed it so much and it was time for someone else to enjoy it too.  Just look at my tree anyway.  How blessed I am to have such a tree full of senimental ornaments that family has given me.  How loved am I?  How rich am I?  The windows truly are opened so the blessings are falling more than I have room to recieve it.  And oh, I was able to winess the sweetest thing tonight too.  A husband was taking treats home to his wife and thinking about her.  It reminded me of when you'd go to priesthood meeting and bring me back a treat on a paper plate.  I really melt when you do that for me.

There.  Now my blog post is better and tweeked the way it should have been percieved in the first place.  I feel better now.  Well.  . .  maybe a bit longer on my knees will do the trick.
Luv, Shan